Monday, June 05, 2006

Movie Review: X-Men 3

If I had to sum up X-Men 3: The Last Stand in a single sentence it would be... "At least we know the X-Men use DELL computers." Basically the movie is a walking advertisement for over a half dozen products ranging from the Xbox 360 to the aforementioned DELL computers.

Normally such blatant product placement wouldn't have been such an eye sore, but when combined with a few other faults you can really put a good movie franchise in the basement. The errors made in this film are many so let us get started.

First off the story is horrendous. Each and every scene is a mini-excuse to get to the next. Sure it makes a "story", but it doesn't captivate or immerse. Weighty dialogue that only sets up actors for failure upon delivery plague this movie at every turn.

I used the word excuse to explain how the plot moves along and it seems like the writers spared no excuse to introduce new mutants or kill off existing ones. While not shocking that main characters die off it was quite shocking in the circumstances leading up to their untimely deaths. The special effects were spot on with flying house and all, but the reasons that push the story to that point are featherweight at best. It sucked every last drop of emotion out of it. Characters make appearances just to die? And we're not talking about something like the disappointing Lady Deathstrike from X-Men 2... we're talking worse.

Next they just poke the plot full of holes for future movies to branch off. I'll spare spoiling them here, but they are so horribly obvious that I had a hard time NOT LAUGHING in the theater when the credits began to roll. I found myself laughing a lot at different parts of the movie only to realize I was the only one in the audience laughing... maybe I am the only one that got the joke? Blah... who knows.

The one bright spot of the movie is the fact they picked the right person to play The Beast and that was Kelsey Grammer. He fits the profile to a T and delivers through out the movie. Sadly he is an interruption within the movie only appearing at vital plot turns never really being fully realized.

So you can tell I didn't like the movie... err well I should say I enjoyed watching it, but it is by far B rate at best. The special effects lived up to the hype, but everything else fell by the wayside. If there is anything that I can say to convince you of the weak sauce this movie brings to screen let it be this...

I'm the Juggernaut bitch!

Update: 7 Nov, 2006 - Reposted from old Heartless Gamer Reviews section and applied labels.
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