Tax time

It's tax time, so laugh a little bit!

Best joke of 2008, a must read.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a break even. But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.'

Get OFF the Damn Internet!

Stop streaming the damn inauguration, you are literally killing the Internet. Seriously, I know, I am working the issue as we speak (well actually, I'm at lunch, but rest assured I will be fixing your Internets soon).

Suddenly Brett Favre Appears

I'm a sucker for anything Favre related!

Oi

Warhammer's #1 Fanboy

I would like to thank the folks over at Channel Massive for voting me WAR's number 1 fanboy in episode #53. Its towards the end, 1 hour 18 minutes approximately.

For those not prepared, some people don't like me.

Guild Cafe Wants Your DNA

Guild Cafe, a website I was not registered for before today, but often used to browse for quality player-specific content, screen shots, and gaming stories, has been moving towards a redesign of GuildCafe.com and turning into GamerDNA.com.

Normally, I try to stick with a "I like this site" blurb and link in a post, but I think GamerDNA is worthy of a bit more than just that. Why? Because they are moving forward on a lot of fronts that really highlight their focus on gamers, games, and gamers sharing their stories about those games.

I've never been shy about stating that I would rather read a biased blog post from an actual gamer than a carefully crafted article from any of the major gaming news sites. I've never been shy about stating that I believe game reviews from real gamers are almost always more truthful than anything found on an official review website. However, I've also always felt that there was no common thread to connect these ideas together.

One of the problems is that some gaming websites, that build a gamer community, usually focus to heavily on a single game and therefore the entire site becomes a bit biased. It is fine when a single blogger, who plays a single game heavily, comments just about that game. That blogger's motivation is easy to see. However, when a bunch of those bloggers, playing the same game, get together on one site, it gets very frustrating for anyone outside of that circle because it feels as though the community is not on board.

This is a tough order for a new site to overcome, especially with World of Warcraft dominating most of the revenue streams for gaming websites. Plus, eight million online players ensures that the majority of conversations will be about World of Warcraft on an online site devoted to gamers. It just goes hand in hand.

So, hopefully GamerDNA can avoid this curse, and so far the features I've heard about are aimed squarely at hitting a wide spectrum of games and gamers. GamerDNA is entering beta and I hope to help give them some valuable feedback to make the site one of the premium gaming community sites out there.

Now to drum up a bit of support for GamerDNA's current website, Guild Cafe, I would like to link to their new contest.

You can be Horde, Alliance, radically geared or barely clad. A simple screenshot of your character in World of Warcraft is enough to be the lucky winner of a Frostmourne replica made by Epic Weapons.

Better than Guitar Hero

Stage 6, We Hardly Knew Ye

Sad news for those of us interested in quality video watching over the Internet: Stage 6 is closing down on Feb 28th.

You may only be vaguely aware of DivX's Stage 6 video site (which probably explains why it wasn't successful) but it's going to be shut down entirely at the end of February. Stage 6 was DivX's YouTube-like video site meant to provide a bunch of streamable content for living room and mobile DivX players. The fact that it's being canned speaks to how successful the effort was. Most of you won't miss it, but we'll have a special place in our hearts for the handful of nudie clips we found on it that one time.

If you never had the chance to visit Stage 6, you truly missed the REAL DEAL in regards to online video. Stage 6 trumped YouTube in every single category. Stage 6 videos were higher quality, more interesting, and rarely came with the nonsensical comments and "Leave Britney alone!" bullshit of YouTube.

Alas, Stage 6, we hardly knew ye.

6 Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth try it.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

Going Gordon Freeman

Dear Criminals,

I should really start a political blog for this...

...but I'm not going to waste my precious time with creating a new blog just to vent a little bit about Digg.com politics and the general political atmosphere of the Internet. It is no secret that the Internet has become overrun with far left democrat loud mouths who feel a few thousand hits to their blog turns their opinions into fact. I shouldn't say the net is smothered by these whacko's, but I must say that they are abusing any tool they can to promote their ill will.

Case in point... Digg.com's addition of a World and Business section which just so happens to include Political News and Political Opinion. There is a problem though... the liberal agenda can't seem to understand the difference between News and Opinion. I would link to some articles, but it is by far not worth the effort.

The problem is even larger than just throwing around partisan politics as news. Digg.com is a website that has grown from Tech News into All News. The liberal political blogosphere is spearheading the abuse of the Digg system to deny fair and balanced coverage. It is a true reflection of mainstream media in America which is dominated by the pundits for the liberal agenda. Whoever said the Internet would deliver political freedom was dead wrong. It has provided a system for those who yell the loudest to oppress the rest of us that don't agree.

Since I am a large fan of Digg.com it pains me to see the Digg community so one sided in political debate. Articles that are equivalent to hate speech are passed off as foregone conclusion on the Digg pages. The Digg community is the editor and chief here, but that only goes so far when the community is driven by hate filled individuals. If you don't agree with the haters you are "dugg -1" and soon any iota of balanced debate is destroyed.

On top of this Digg receives visitors from around the world and it is no more evident than in the World and Business section. Digg.com is an American idea, an American company, and most of all only possible because of America's free will. You would think that such ideals would come accross from the Digg community. They do not.

Most international posters that actively engage in political discussions on Digg are American haters. They hate us. They probably hate you if you are American. Read through any comments on a political news story on Digg.com right now. Count how many times you hear about how Americans "don't get it". How American's are ignorant.

Yet day in and day out Digg.com flourishes. A website built on American free spirit, but slowly being occupied by the hate vendors of the world. Maybe people like myself just don't care enough to counterbalance Digg and provide an equal footing for our ideals. Maybe for people like me Digg is best left as just another news site rather than a revolution in Social Bookmarking. Social Bookmarking only works when everyone's voice can be heard.

New World of Warcraft Alliance race!

Click here for all the details on World of Warcrafts new Alliance race for the Burning Crusade expansion!

Trying to understand things on the internet is hard

What do spray cans, groping, and racism have to do with each other? I don't know. Why are you asking me? I wish I knew, but I don't. Why?

Because I am trying to understand something on the internet. While hitting up my favorite Blog search engine, Technorati, I came across the search term "xiaxue". What is xiaxue you ask? I really wish I could tell you, but I have an inkling from the search results at Technorati that it has to do with spray cans, groping, and racism!

Well I'm not really sure... this is the Internet after all.

Naked man jumps to death... recieves parking ticket!

I don't stray from gaming too often... err well I don't try anyways, but its 5 AM in the morning and this just cracked me up. Partly because I've had friends that visited DC and got in a good bit of trouble over parking tickets. This story from the Washington Post is just odd.

Cut and pasted for your enjoyment.

"A naked man darted from a sport-utility vehicle into a downtown Washington office building at lunchtime yesterday and then jumped to his death from the eighth floor, officials said.

The man double-parked in the 1000 block of 15th Street NW about noon, bolted from his still-running gray Jeep Cherokee, dashed past a crowd on the street and ran into the lobby of an office building, witnesses said.

Police were still trying to identify the man yesterday and to determine why he jumped. Witnesses also were trying to sort out what happened. The man had no apparent connection to the building, according to people who work there.

"He didn't even have shoes on," said James Crouch, who was working as a temporary security guard at the building. Sitting behind the security desk, Crouch first saw the man from the waist up and thought "maybe he was a rather strange jogger. But then I stood up and saw the rest of him."

The man told Crouch that he was "handicapped," asked him for 50 cents to make a phone call and then spoke incoherently, mumbling something about his father, Crouch said.

Then the man ran to an elevator. Minutes later, he emerged from a stairwell on the eighth floor. The fire alarm had been set off, presumably by the man, and the office doors on that floor were open as people began to file out, witnesses said.

The man pushed his way into one of the offices, where he said "excuse me" several times while charging toward a window, witnesses said. He smashed the glass and jumped through the window, falling onto a parapet between two buildings. Some downtown workers saw him fall.

D.C. firefighters and emergency medical service personnel arrived at the scene, and police quickly cordoned off the block.

Workers in the eighth-floor office said they had not seen the man before and did not believe that he had ties to the offices there. They didn't hear anything he said other than "excuse me," a witness said.

Before it became apparent what was taking place, the city's parking enforcers reacted to the abandoned SUV, which had leather seats, Maryland plates and no sign of clothing inside. They slapped a ticket on the windshield."

Pepsi Online

Good read over at Virgin Worlds.

Best part is the picture! No game, other than World of Warcraft, could illustrate the point better!